It’s Monday morning, and the apes are losing their minds.
With torrential rain brought about by Hurricane Hilary in California, it remains to be seen if humanity can survive this fourth week of August in the two-thousand and twenty-third Year of Our Lord.
https://t.co/WE2tuYcsCA— PatriotsInControl🇺🇲 (@PatriotsControl) August 18, 2023
Hurricane Hilary has strengthened to a category 4 hurricane and is likely to make landfall by Sunday. A tropical storm watch has been issued for Southern California as there is risk of flash flooding. pic.twitter.com/KohvNAGJkD
What began with legitimate tragedy in Maui has cascaded into an all-out pandemic of pandemonium while the Primate in Chief takes time out in Tahoe from the rigors of his schedule. But fear not, fellow hominids. The situation is under control.
As soon as Tropical Storm Hilary’s path became clear, my Administration took immediate action to prepare: deploying personnel and supplies, and planning rapid response and search-and-rescue efforts.— President Biden (@POTUS) August 21, 2023
My Administration stands ready to provide additional assistance and will…
I contacted a friend from Los Angeles and asked if he had to break out the sandbags last night. The lack of response was a chilling reminder of just how warm the world has gotten. Maybe that’s a poor choice of words. “Enflaming reminder” sounds much more appropriate. Am I doing this right?
Regardless of my own simian fumbling of any literary details, there’s no shortage of catastrophic narrative choices to define the latest abominable news cycle. Just nine hours ago, aerial footage of Dodgers Stadium led one Xitter user to start Xeeting quotes from the book of Genesis.
Dodgers Stadium— Jack Straw (@JackStr42679640) August 21, 2023
The LORD said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.” Genesis:6 – via Tir pic.twitter.com/JkFfhZfPsr
Meanwhile, in Stew Petersville, TikTok analysis proves that Direct Energy Weapons are being deployed the entire world over. There’s no debate. Just follow the science. There are maps of a flat earth with hundreds of little flame icons, FFS.
The entire world is currently burning and it’s not because of “climate change”. pic.twitter.com/8uK7tOzF8N— Stew Peters (@realstewpeters) August 20, 2023
Thankfully, esteemed actor James Woods was able to point out the terrifying reality for all who’ve yet to recognize the immediate danger. The climate is changing rapidly. On that point, there is no debate.
So, while we well-informed apes observe the unfolding chaos through our handheld windows to the world, one can only wonder at what manner of horrendous tragedy awaits should we decide to step outside to enjoy a bit of daily sunshine with a cup of coffee and a cigarette.
And with a multitude of honest questions about the latest agenda, it’s only a matter of time before we chimp our way out of the media enclosure.
Honest question…— Pelham (@Resist_05) August 21, 2023
How many of these fires have been purposely lit to push the climate change agenda and enforce full government control..? pic.twitter.com/AVr1ddTgIq
But first, let’s all check our smartphones to see if rational thought makes any sense.