Common Sense for the 21st Century

Renegade. Nonpartisan. Revolutionary.

Monday Morning with the Apes as the World Descends Into Chaos

It’s Monday morning, and the apes are losing their minds. 

With torrential rain brought about by Hurricane Hilary in California, it remains to be seen if humanity can survive this fourth week of August in the two-thousand and twenty-third Year of Our Lord. 

What began with legitimate tragedy in Maui has cascaded into an all-out pandemic of pandemonium while the Primate in Chief takes time out in Tahoe from the rigors of his schedule. But fear not, fellow hominids. The situation is under control. 

I contacted a friend from Los Angeles and asked if he had to break out the sandbags last night. The lack of response was a chilling reminder of just how warm the world has gotten. Maybe that’s a poor choice of words. “Enflaming reminder” sounds much more appropriate. Am I doing this right?

Regardless of my own simian fumbling of any literary details, there’s no shortage of catastrophic narrative choices to define the latest abominable news cycle. Just nine hours ago, aerial footage of Dodgers Stadium led one Xitter user to start Xeeting quotes from the book of Genesis. 

Meanwhile, in Stew Petersville, TikTok analysis proves that Direct Energy Weapons are being deployed the entire world over. There’s no debate. Just follow the science. There are maps of a flat earth with hundreds of little flame icons, FFS. 

Thankfully, esteemed actor James Woods was able to point out the terrifying reality for all who’ve yet to recognize the immediate danger. The climate is changing rapidly. On that point, there is no debate. 

So, while we well-informed apes observe the unfolding chaos through our handheld windows to the world, one can only wonder at what manner of horrendous tragedy awaits should we decide to step outside to enjoy a bit of daily sunshine with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. 

And with a multitude of honest questions about the latest agenda, it’s only a matter of time before we chimp our way out of the media enclosure. 

But first, let’s all check our smartphones to see if rational thought makes any sense.


***If you enjoyed this rant, contributions are appreciated HERE***

support renegade media

Free Speech dies when truth-tellers fail to obtain the resources we need to bring you the facts, with some flare. 

The spirit of is to hold media’s feet to the flames. 

You enable us to grab more kindling for the bonfire. 

After all, who doesn’t love a good barbecue?